In this day and age, most everyone goes out to eat.  Whether it’s a cheap, quick-service restaurant or an expensive, fancy restaurant, you’ll probably come into contact with a waiter or a waitress.  And guess what?

We are people, too.

Yes, we are paid to serve you, but that doesn’t mean you can treat us like crap.  Doctors are also paid to serve you, and you’d never be rude to your doctor unless he botched your surgery or gave you the wrong meds. 

So, to all readers everywhere: please, please, please, be nice to your waiter or waitress.  I have written a handy list of things that I, as an inexperienced, confused waitress, beg of you, the customer.

 

1. Please don’t ask if your food will be ready soon.  What answer do you expect, “no?”  Your food will be ready soon.  I don’t know how soon, since I’m not the one cooking it.

 

2. Please don’t be passive-aggressive.  I once forgot to bring more bread out to a table, but they stopped reminding me until I brought out the check.  They then said, “thank you so much for that extra bread!”  Needless to say, I felt terrible and stupid.  Honestly, if you want something, ask for it, and keep asking it (politely, of course) until your server brings it to you.  But on that note…

 

3. If you want to order a drink, please do not ask every server you see to bring it for you.  Because we are all (mostly) competent servers, we will all bring it to you.  Water, pop, ok.  We can deal with serving extras of that.  A fancy glass of wine or an oddly specific mixed drink?  No.

 

4. Please be neat.  Yes, accidents happen, but please don’t be obnoxiously messy just because you won’t be the one cleaning up.  Yes, we are paid to clean up after you, but a bit of common courtesy never hurts.

 

5. Please don’t linger at your table after we bring out the check.  A few minutes?  Sure, go ahead.  But when you’re sitting there for over a half hour, it gets annoying because we cannot clear your table, collect your check, ring up our sales and go home.  If the restaurant it busy, then lingering at the table is even worse because that server cannot seat another table and earn more money.  Essentially, you are just taking up space and, pardon my French, pissing us off.

 

6. Please don’t do this:

Me: Here is your drink, Mrs. X.

Mrs. X: This isn’t what I ordered.

Me:  Oh, I’m very sorry.  I’ll go get you a new one.

Mrs. X: No, no, it’s fine.  I’ll drink it anyway even though it isn’t what I wanted.

Me:  Are you sure?  It’ll just take a minute for me to get you another one.

Mrs. X:  No, no, it’s fine!  I promise it’s fine!

…or anything around those lines.

 

Thank you!  Love, me.

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