People always seem to want to know how POTS feels. Or at least, I wish I could explain it better to people who give me funny looks that suggest they’re thinking, “But you don’t LOOK sick!” This took me a long time to write and I’m not sure why anyone would want to read it, but that’s too bad because this is my blog and I’m going to write what I want. Ha. FYI: pre-syncope is the symptoms you get before you’re going to faint. Mine can last from minutes to hours, and it usually happens randomly, though more so when I’m feeling stressed.
How Pre-Syncope Feels:
I remember first time I felt POTS symptoms. I felt as though the room had been filled with water; its blue ripples swirling through my field of vision. My head felt full of sand, heavy and wobbly under the pressure of a force outside my control. I glanced around, hoping for the symptoms to leave my head as fast as they arrived. Instead, I felt like the world was gently swaying around me, back and forth. My eyes refused to focus on any one thing, my mind felt blank. My body felt warm and cold at the same time as my heart pounded against my chest. If I stood still, I could feel the blood moving through my veins. Nausea set in as I force myself to stay engaged. Afraid that if I stop focusing on the present, my body will win and I will collapse onto the ground. I’m terrified, but as my nervous system goes haywire I appear oddly calm. Color washes from my face as I frantically think about the what-ifs, what if I faint, what if I convulse, as I helplessly try to make it stop. It feels like your body is taking over your mind, and you can’t do anything to release its grasp. It’s called pre-syncope, and I don’t like it one bit.